1.2.1 Audio-only and Video-only (Prerecorded)

You got audio or video that isn't happening live? Then you have no excuse to not have captions and audiodescriptions for that shit. Sure, this criterion technically only requires a "media alternative", but if you half-ass some shitty article to go with your podcast or silent video, then you are an entire fucking ass.

If you are extremely committed to pedantic fuckery, you may notice this criterion only covers audio recordings without video (so, podcasts) and video recordings without audio (silent movies I guess?). If you have the far more common video + audio combined, skip right over this criterion and move along to 1.2.2, 1.2.3, and 1.2.5.

Why is this criterion different from 1.2.2, 1.2.3, and 1.2.5? Because it's apparently really fucking important to have a separate criterion for ONLY audio and ONLY video, then three more criteria for audio and video tracks in "synchronized media". Instead of having one single criterion for any prerecorded audio and another for any prerecorded video, like any normal person would do. Because WCAG logic. Fucking WCAG logic.

If you're not a goddamn WCAG pedant, then ignore the other 1.2 criteria and just. Y'know. Provide captions and audio descriptions. Seriously. Captions and audio descriptions. cApTiOnS aND AuDIoDeScRiPTiOnS. CAPTIONS. AND. AUDIO DESCRIPTIONS.